God what a title!
Apologies for a big rants woe is me other, but Im hoping someone can relate (or not as the case may be, it's not a pleasant state of mind to be in...)
Iv had a really struggle of a day and Iv come to the conclusion that I don't really like my DS. He winds me up very easily, I find him very easy to get angry with, I blame a lot on him, when he asks for mummy milk I feel very violent towards him as I feel very violated (not sexually violated, like he's violating my personal space) I shout at him a lot and want to punish him/make him feel sad etc, I find myself blaming him for stuff he can't help, such as waking early and not bring able to be quiet so he wakes everyone else up.
The thing is, I don't feel like this voluntarily, it's making me feel sick with guilty for feeling this way. I'm not sure how I can change it?? Even when we spend 1:1 time together, I'm not enjoying it as Im constantly having to badger and moan at him to stop abc and do xyz, I'm not sure when our relationship became so damaged? Iv certainly never felt very bonded to him, but it's never been like this?? Is as if we're severed down the middle and i just don't know how to make it better??
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