Sunday, 19 August 2012

Rough night

God tonight's a rough night. I've had a stressful day with tantrums/ILs feeding the kids rubbish before bed, little sleep and it's been very hot! Probably sounds like not much to most but Im in a fragile mental place right now and it's all building up in me and I feel like I might crack.

The paranoias back, I'm struggling to talk myself out of doing things that might forever alter some friendships Iv held dear. I feel like my friends avoid me, whether be that in real life or online. I seem to always be the one texting/messaging people only to get no reply or very limited replies and I'm not really sure why, I don't feel like Iv done anything to warrant it, but the aim not always rational or completely mentally present, so maybe I have? I'm really not sure but I could really do with some support and comfort tonight and no ones around to give it.

I don't want to go bed and wake up, Iv had enough of this all and Id just like it to end. If I can't get better I don't see the point of carrying in this miserable life.

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